Supporting The Rights of Children
Over the summer, my son and I had an opportunity to tour the United Nations Headquarters in New York City. More than 65 years ago, the United Nations adopted the Declaration of the Rights of the Child, laying out a vision for the rights that each and every child should have. (You can find out more about how the United Nations has been considering the needs and rights of children.)
I like to refer to the shortened list below:
The Rights of Children are:
To be kept safe
To avoid unnecessary discomfort
To have their possessions treated as their own
To be treated fairly
Children begin to develop self-esteem from birth and need to have a strong sense of connection to engage well with others. It’s especially important that these relationships are built on mutual respect. A relationship of mutual respect means that it is just as important for an adult to treat the child with respect as it is for the child to treat the adult with respect.
Mutually respectful relationships feed into a child’s developing sense of self-worth. Children learn to evaluate themselves based upon the information they have gathered in their daily exchanges with the adults who care for them. Over time, a child creates a positive or negative judgment of self-worth, which has a long-term impact on their self-esteem and self-confidence.
A common way that children develop low self-worth is through disrespectful punishments. The acts of inflicting pain, loss or suffering as a penalty for unwanted behavior are considered inappropriate punishment. More than just being disrespectful, this form of punishment violates the basic rights of children. For more information on this please refer to the free article Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children on the American Academy of Pediatrics website. Children need love, security, and affection, along with consistent boundaries and structure for emotional and physical safety.
How as parents should we respond to unwanted behaviors while giving our children the respect they deserve?
When undesirable behavior occurs, your discipline efforts should seek to address the cause of the behavior, and to teach the child a new, replacement behavior.
Try to discover the cause of the behavior.
Choose a strategy that treats the cause of the behavior (such as a child’s lack of skill in entering play), rather than the symptom (perhaps the child pushed another child during play). Can you communicate how the child should have behaved in that situation?
Put your strategy into action.
Reflect. Was it effective? Did it stop or minimize behavior while still protecting your child’s rights?
You may want to tailor your approach to your child’s age and stage of development, when needed. When in doubt, remember that children also benefit from seeing positive role models who demonstrate good behavior and healthy habits.
Most importantly, children need to feel loved and cherished unconditionally, which builds their self-esteem and confidence. Supportive caretakers help children build confidence by encouraging their efforts, not just their successes. As caring adults, we can support children learn and grow by using positive approaches in our relationships with them each day.
Affection can be shown through physical touch, positive attention, and emotional support. Quality time spent talking, playing, and engaging in activities with a parent is vital for healthy development and strengthening relationships.
I would encourage everyone to do their best to understand, promote, and defend children’s rights and support their growth with respectful, loving limits.
Aoife Rose Magee
Aoife Rose Magee, PhD, earned a doctoral degree in Special Education from the University of Oregon Early Intervention Program. Her personal and professional interests have been largely focused on the social-emotional development of young children and how positive parenting and teaching practices may contribute to healthy development, promote resiliency, and mediate risk factors. Aoife is professional development specialist for students and practitioners in the areas of Early Childhood Education, Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education and Parenting Education. Aoife serves as a Master Trainer for the Oregon Registry and frequently provides community based and private workshops for early childhood educators, parenting educators, and other professionals. For more than thirty years, she worked directly with families as a parenting educator, and she is a former Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative Hub Coordinator for the Parenting Success Network. She currently teaches as a full-time faculty in the Early Childhood Education Program at Lane Community College. She is also the mother of a fantastic young adult son and enjoys nature and creative pursuits in her spare time.