Tools to Calm Down During Uncertain Times
By Aoife Rose Magee
In these complex times, caring for ourselves, our families, and our communities can feel especially demanding. It’s okay to need extra care and flexibility as parents right now.
Most of us feel a certain level of discomfort when there is a lot of change or upheaval in our lives. Adults may or may not realize how much their emotional responses can impact others around them, particularly their children. When things are unpredictable, it’s important that we have ways to calm down and rebalance ourselves – This helps us feel better and has a positive impact on our children.
Below are recommendations that may help you as a parent manage uncertainty during stressful times like these.
Address Foundational Needs
Taking care of ourselves physically and emotionally makes a big impact on our well-being. That’s why it’s important to keep a handle on the basics: Prioritize rest and sleep routines for the entire family. Eat healthy meals and snacks and stay hydrated. Engage in physical activity and movement, even in short bursts. Set boundaries and learn to say “no” to extra responsibilities. Take breaks from screens and electronics, such as phones, email, social media, news, and TV. Identify what is in your control and let go of what is not.
Look for Connection and Support
Seeking social and emotional support from others can help lessen the burden and keep us feeling more connected. Spend time with friends, family, or other parents who understand you, or who you relate to. Ask for help or specific support when needed. Strengthen your partnerships or other close relationships. Reach out to members of your community — a strong network cultivates resilience and sense of safety for everyone. Consider support groups, online support, and local family resources for dealing with high levels of stress or strategies for healing trauma.
Mental and Emotional Well-Being
Taking time to reflect, feel our emotions, and recharge can make a tremendous difference when experiencing stress. Allow yourself to feel and express emotions, even tears. Mindfulness practices include deep breathing or short meditations to stay present. Acknowledge your efforts and find things to be thankful for by creating a gratitude list, which can often help people refocus their energies on what’s working or going well. Focus on your strengths and the many ways you are supporting yourself and others. Find what brings you joy, laughter, and happiness and do more of that. Make time for activities that you enjoy such as nature, reading, hobbies, music, or art.
Self-compassion can be helpful. Here’s how to ground yourself, as a person who is hurting, guided by Dr. Kristin Neff.
Supporting Our Children
These moments can shape how children experience the world around them, and paying attention to how children may be processing, wondering, or responding matters deeply.
Additional Resources
1. Here’s how to help children and families facing detention or separation, published by Healthy Children, and endorsed by The American Academy of Pediatrics.
2. Here’s how to talk to children about violence, NAEYC: Supporting Young Children after Crisis Events, & NAEYC Resources - Coping with Trauma, Stress, & Violence
3. Dr. Chandra Ghosh Ippen has produced many resources and books to support families to recover after stressful and traumatic events and can be found at Piplo Productions. Her children’s stories are available in multiple languages, including Spanish.
Aoife Rose Magee, PhD, earned a doctoral degree in Special Education from the University of Oregon Early Intervention Program. Her personal and professional interests have been largely focused on the social-emotional development of young children and how positive parenting and teaching practices may contribute to healthy development, promote resiliency, and mediate risk factors. Aoife is professional development specialist for students and practitioners in the areas of Early Childhood Education, Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education and Parenting Education. Aoife serves as a Master Trainer for the Oregon Registry and frequently provides community based and private workshops for early childhood educators, parenting educators, and other professionals. For more than thirty years, she worked directly with families as a parenting educator, and she is a former Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative Hub Coordinator for the Parenting Success Network. She currently teaches as a full-time faculty in the Early Childhood Education Program at Lane Community College. She is also the mother of a fantastic young adult son and enjoys nature and creative pursuits in her spare time.